Happy 61st Birthday, Daddy!

So I wrote a birthday letter to my dad about a month ago. I didn't want to post it til it was published in my school's student Literary and Art magazine. But here it is for all that care to see. Feedback is more than welcome. :)

                                                                                                                        April 2, 2011

Dear Dad,

     Happy 61^st Birthday, Dad! :) I’ve been thinking about you all day. Well, I think about you everyday, but you’ve been on my mind a lot lately. That’s mainly due to what I found out on March 16^th. Guess what? I got accepted to Florida State! :) Can you believe it? I believe what got me accepted was my essay that I wrote on tradition. I wrote half of it about FSU and how that’s become a Davis family tradition, how you were the only one out of five kids to receive a college education and how you came from nothing and through education achieved success all your own. I also wrote about how Rachel attended Florida State and she loved it so much that she came back to teach there. The other half was about St. Vincent’s, the high school I attend now, about its traditions and foundation. Do you how hard it is write an essay in under 500 words? I loved it though. It seems as  though I’m better at conveying my emotions through writing than I can vocally. But, I GOT ACCEPTED! I’m so ridiculously excited. I can’t start until January, so I’ll probably stay home, work, and go to Armstrong until then.
     I can’t believe that I’m nearing the end of my high school career. I’ve changed so much these past four years. I’ve also met some amazing people along the way. I ended March with my fourth and final high school play, The Sound of Music. I was one of the nuns that sing “How Do You Solve A Problem Like Maria?” The show was fantastic as was our cast. On March 31^st, you and mom would have been married for 27 years. That day is still important to her. That’s also the birthday of a dear friend of mine. It’s now the beginning of April. That means I’ve got about a month and a half left until my high school graduation. Let the end of the year festivities begin! Next weekend we have senior formal and the father/daughter dance. This year, I’m thinking of asking Billy Green if he’d like to go with me. He was your best friend after all. He came to hear me sing at Candlelight in December. I love his crazy stories about you. The last week of April, we have Ring Day, Field Day, and Senior Prom! Speaking of Prom, mom and I found my dress yesterday! It’s navy blue and beautiful! Now to find a Prom date… There’s a boy that I’d like to take, but I don’t know what he’d say. One of my friends actually suggested I call him tonight and see what he says. Wish me luck! After Prom,  we have GRAD NITE 2011! Grad nite is where seniors go down to Disney World and they have the park to themselves from like 10pm til 3am. There’s also bands that perform and different activities. I’m so excited! After Grad Nite, there’s senior exams and graduation practice. St. Vincent’s is one of two schools in Savannah that get to graduate in the Cathedral of St. John the Baptist downtown. The cathedral and the ceremony itself are beautiful.

     Home life hasn’t changed much. It’s still me, mom, and Spencer. Spencer’s a sophomore at Armstrong majoring in History. Mom works as a manager at Huey’s on Riverstreet. I’ve been a bit consumed with school and extra curriculars to get a job this year. I’ll definitely be working this summer though. I don’t know if I’ve mentioned this, but I want to become an exotic vet specializing in Big Cats. I credit this interest to my obsession with Disney movies. Simba will always be important to my life. I hope to get a job at Oatland Island Wildlife Center or at one of the vet offices this summer. I love working with animals. I’ll be working and enjoying my summer as best I can. I can’t believe it’s almost been 18 years since you’ve been gone. You’re always in my heart and on my mind though. Since we couldn’t go down to see you today, maybe we can for Father’s Day or on July 24^th. Also, I hope you like my tattoo that I got for my 18^th birthday. It’s in your memory and honor. I consider it a gift to the two of us. I love and miss you!

     P.S. Thank you for the beautiful weather today! :) It was nice after the week of rain we’ve had. The perfect end to my spring break.
      Love, your China doll, Cill

Letters from my heart

I write letters periodically to my father. My dad died from a heart attack when I was eleven months old. I've been writing letters to him every once in a while for about four years now. I view it as my way of talking to him. I may not be able to remember him, but he was still my dad. Some people say that I don't miss him. They say I miss the idea of my father. I beg to differ. My heart will always have a place for him. And I'm his spitting image, except I'm a girl. Doesn't that mean something? For my 18th birthday, I got a tattoo between my shoulder blades that has a halo, angel wings, and the initials DMD in the middle with the dates 4-2-1950 and 7-24-1993 underneath. I love my tattoo. It's a way for others to see that my dad is always with me. He is my hero and my guardian angel. He always will be. I may only have pictures and stories to remember him by, but I can feel his presence sometimes. When it rains, I swear his spirit is here with me. He'll always be in my heart. I like to write letters to him so that I can inform him of how I as well as my mom and older brother are doing. I sometimes get sad around his birthday, father's day, and the anniversary of his death. But, I take about thirty minutes to write a letter to him or I drive the two and a half hours to the cemetery and I feel better. Family will always be vital to my life. My letters to my father is how I connect with him. Everyone deals with their emotions differently. I tend to write how I'm feeling on my blog. Writing has become a nice creative outlet for me over the years. People may think I'm strange, but I'm just "talking" to my dad. I don't mind talking about him. I just hate when people assume that just because I don't talk about him a lot that my parents are divorced. I guess my point is I have found a way for me to deal with his death whether it be talking to him, sitting at his grave, or writing him letters.
P. S. I recently found out that my favorite actress shares my dad's birthday, which is today btw. Happy 30th Birthday, Bethany Joy Galeotti! :) 

Currently Things Fall Apart By Chinua Achebe see related

boredome strikes yet again.

Currently THE NANNY - COMPLETE SEASON 4 see related

sometimes i hate being a girl...

y'know, sometimes i truly hate being a girl.
one reason being every girls worst enemy/nightmare, our monthly gift so to speak.
just ruins everything, makes me literally sick to my stomach, no energy, and just bleh.
oh and then there's the boy issue. why are they so freaking complicated?
is it really that hard for a guy to see when a girl likes them? seriously?
why can't they just come clean, tell us if they like us or not instead of playing games with our head to the point where we can't think straight. it's not healthy.
i love how i like a guy who won't even talk to me anymore. we were talking almost everyday, now it's just as if i don't even exist. fml.
and there's something about him, he's so freaking cute, sexy, gorgeous yet he doesn't see himself that way.
and he's impossibly sweet too. and those green eyes, i could get lost in. omfg.
now that he's talking to one of my best friends and not me, it's time for me to really start paying attention to and taking care of myself again. make him see me in a new light. see that i really am different than i was in middle school. i've grown up in age, maturity, and i like to think i'm pretty too.
sad to say i'm almost 18 and the last boyfriend i had was when i was 12 in 6th grade.
then he moved away. oh and i haven't had my first kiss yet either.
idk, i guess things will fall into place when the time is right.
i just wish the guy i liked for once liked me back.
maybe if i really take care of myself, he'll see how amazing i really am. (not to be egotistical)
any comments?
feedback is always welcome and appreciated.
♥

The Countdown Begins...